An Equal Music by Vikram Seth

'An Equal Music' is indeed a musical story. The language is immensely beautiful. Throughout the book, one sees how much time human beings spend in tuning 'things' so that they can live in harmony. In this story, the characters struggle with notes, compositions, and life. Both music and life demand the same things. Just like music, life too only in certain moments gives us joy, bliss, and happiness – life comes with its own internal logic. The central character in the story, not only in the practice sessions but in real life as well searches for 'an equal music.'

While Seth dedicates the book – through a beautifully worded poem – to his intimate friend Philippe Honore. In addition to this, the book opens with the following luminous lines of John Donne.

“And into that gate they shall enter, and in that house they shall dwell, where there shall be no cloud, nor sun, no darkness nor dazzling, but one equal light, no noise nor silence, but one equal music, no fears nor hopes, but one equal possession, no foes nor friends, but one equal communion and identity, no ends nor beginnings, but one equal eternity.”

These lines, in some significant ways, clarify Us to ourselves. All of us, knowingly or unknowingly, strive to attain that space of 'one equal eternity.' For some, such quests are even more daunting. In the novel, the story of Michael, at least in the beginning, reads like the story of a homosexual man. In the first thirty pages, he is seen playing, practicing music, talking to friends. His real love – Julia – appears much later. He sees her through the window seat of his bus. With his current girlfriend, he is not happy; and Julia is not present in his life. So what he really has is himself: his walks, his music, his books, his thoughts. These are the things that actually sustain him. The idea of Julia seems to be more precious than Julia in flesh and blood. This, in a way, creates acute loneliness in him and his search for 'balance' continues throughout the novel.

There are small instances in the book that mirrors 'experiences' central to gay lives. For instance, in one of his walks Michael thinks that someone is walking behind him. He describes it thus; ''the anonymous person seemed to have made up his mind and walked with renewed energy and overtook Michael– indicating lack of interest.'' In yet another instance, Michael talks randomly with a man on one  'wintry' evening. The whole scene reads as if Miachael were cruising. One man is seen taking a dip in icy water, the other, wandering for no particular reason. Both searching for 'something.'

Anybody who likes western classical music would love reading this book. Even though I am not particularly familiar with it, I loved how seamlessly the story is entwined with the language of music. The quest for home, love, and balance is felt on every page. The author seems to suggest that one can live and glimpse 'bliss' in moments, but one cannot inhabit it fully and forever. This quest for love and balance become more difficult when the world is hostile. A world that still tries to stifle certain 'kinds of love.' In such a hostile setting, the search for the 'unspeakable love' exhausts the soul.

The book ends on a great hopeful note, justifying the title and the story. There is no reason to despair.

“Music, such music is a sufficient gift. Why ask for happiness; why hope not to grieve? It is enough, it is to be blessed enough, to live from day to day and to hear such music – not too much, or the soul could not sustain it – from time to time.”