Selective Memory: Stories from My Life by Shobhaa De

As the title suggests, Shobha's story is selective. She tells 'certain things' about her life, but not all. Once you remember this claimer, which very few memoir writers make, one trusts her.

In many ways, there were many things in her life that had just happened, she never planned them. At school, she was good in sports but not academically inclined like her other siblings who later in life became doctors and engineers. Shobha was the black sheep of the family. First, she tried her hands at modeling and attained success, but she soon realized that the dog-eat-dog world of showbiz was not for her.

On a personal front, her first marriage had failed but she survived the failure rather brilliantly. Again by  sheer coincidence, Nari Hira, a well known publisher, gave her a small writing assignment. With no particular education in journalism, she was to spend the rest of her life writing columns and books. She became India's top-selling writer and a popular commentator. In fact, her articles on film stars and politicians were–are– unforgiving and at times ruthlessly unfair. Maybe it is this approach to writing that made her the Shobha that readers like.

Another wonderful feature of the memoir is that one sees the 'real' person that Shobha is – the real middle-class maharashtrian girl who is not only a firebrand author but also an ordinary human being with ordinary concerns. She talks frankly about her professional life, the choices she made and the way in which she dealt with uncomfortable situations in her professional and personal life.

One thing I like about Shobha's memoir that she has written wonderful things about some famous actresses in the book. Very often, popular actresses are depicted as dumb and ignorant in popular media. In other words, I like reading about Rekha, Zeenat Amaan, Parveen Babi,  in addition to Asha Bhonsle and the ace photographer Gautam Rajadhakhya. In fact, I am surprised to learn that Gautam and Shobha are cousins..

This might be a strange thing to say that reading her novels and then reading her memoir, I understood her better. In fact, writing, I believe, irrespective of the genre, tells us a lot about the writer. As she herself claims that, despite her image, she is at heart a simple and conservative. And this rings true as one reads this book.

One of the most moving images that stayed with me was toward the end of the memoir where she writes about her father's death. She almost puts on the page the entire scene; the loss, sadness, fear, logistics that death unleashes. In a few words, she made me experience her loss and everything else that she might have undergone. Even though it was a highly personal, subjective experience, but her response to it revealed who she is as a person.

And of course in the real world, I see that person speaking, writing, arguing, making mistakes, standing up to bullies on a daily basis. She is the Shobha that many love and many love to hate.